fish7.org

Joni Church is a pet sitter in New Jersey. She is not me. I am a video editor (and so much more) in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I shouldn’t care, because she deserves the name as much as I do (I guess), but it really bothers me that this other Joni’s name dominates the first page of a Google search done on “Joni Church.” I have a place in this world too, you know. I mean, just because I’m a nobody who hasn’t done much of anything…

So I’ve egotistically pulled together a comprehensive guide to my web presence for those of you who would like to know absolutely everything about me (I imagine none of you). This is it, people. All there is. Nothing and no more to know than what you can learn from the list below. These are me. I am these…

IMDB.com

Apple Discussions

Creative Cow Forum

Recreating Eden

International Institute for Sustainable Development

East of Euclid

Deviant Art

Sellaband

Onceadored.com
(yes she’s talking about me, she calls me Joni Mitchell, but we both know)

And finally… NOT ME.
http://www.jonichurch.com/
(wait a minute… JONICHURCH.COM?!?… jesus, she’s taken *everything*)

Blogging? Joni?

You bet your sweet ass I’m blogging. I will be blogging good, blogging hard, and blogging smart.

Chart.

Taking things apart.

I was born a three-dollar pie. I needed an operation… they tried to eat me.

The doctors got me mixed up with the baby of the family in the room next door, and turned me into a black butterfly. My parents were completely thrown. They wanted to hug and love me, but they couldn’t touch me because they were afraid they’d wipe the powder off of my wings. Finally after the third operation I was made into a person.

Also, I was born in the back seat of a greyhound bus on highway 41. It’s true.

I think that having been born a pie, then turned into a butterfly before becoming human really shaped who I am today. I don’t see the world as others do, and I have more sympathy for pastries and winged beings. But still I’m glad to have finally decided to become a starfish. It’s more comfortable for sleeping, and who wouldn’t want that?