Fish7.org

I was born a three-dollar pie. I needed an operation.

The doctors got me mixed up with the baby of the family in the room next door, and turned me into a black butterfly. My parents wanted to hug and love me, but they were afraid they’d wipe the powder off of my wings. Finally after the third operation I was made into a person.

Also, I was born in the back seat of a greyhound bus on highway 41. It’s true.

I think that having been born a pie, then turned into a butterfly before becoming human really shaped who I am today. I have more sympathy for pastries and winged individuals. But still I’m glad to have finally decided to become a starfish. It’s more comfortable for sleeping, and who wouldn’t want that?

Joni Church is a pet sitter in New Jersey. She is not me. I am a video editor (and so much more) in Winnipeg, Manitoba. I shouldn’t care, because she deserves the name as much as I do (I guess), but it really bothers me that this other Joni’s name dominates the first page of a Google search done on “Joni Church.” I have a place in this world too, you know. I mean, just because I’m a nobody who hasn’t done much of anything…

So I’ve egotistically pulled together a comprehensive guide to my web presence for those of you who would like to know absolutely everything about me (I imagine none of you). This is it, people. All there is. Nothing and no more to know than what you can learn from the list below. These are me. I am these…

IMDB.com

Apple Discussions

Creative Cow Forum

Recreating Eden

International Institute for Sustainable Development

East of Euclid

LinkedIn

Deviant Art

Sellaband

Onceadored.com
(yes she’s talking about me, she calls me Joni Mitchell, but we both know)

And finally… NOT ME.
http://www.jonichurch.com/
(wait a minute… JONICHURCH.COM?!?… jesus, she’s taken *everything*)

Dear Kim- my one and only blogovisitor,

I am currently transferring all of my blogwork to another server due to <unnamed gracious developer>’s incompetence. Thank you for supporting me and my hack art, I will post a very special picture just for you once this whole nightmare is behind me.

Hey <unnamed gracious developer>… Fuck you!

Love and blogging,

Joni

<ps - careful what cans o beanworms you unleash >